Hum Engineers kaminey hi rahenge

09/04/2016

A Software Engg was smoking
Girl: Didn't u see the warning ?
Smoking is injurious to health.
Engineer: We bother only about errors & not warnings..

05/04/2016

A mechanical engineer went to police station for
filing report for his missing wife:
Engineer : I lost my wife (misty), she went for shopping and still not reached home yet.
Inspector: What is her height?
Engineer: I never noticed.
Inspector: Slim or healthy?
Engineer: Not slim can be healthy.
Inspector: Color of eyes?
Engineer: Never noticed.
Inspector: Color of hair?
Engineer: Changes according to season.
Inspector: What was she wearing?
Engineer: Saree/suit/ I don’t remember exactly!
Inspector: Was she going in a car?
Engineer: Yes!
Inspector : Tell me the number, name and color of the car.
Engineer: Black Audi A8 with supercharged 3.0 liter V6 engine generating 333 horse power teamed with an eight-
speed tiptronic automatic transmission with manual mode.
And it has full LED headlights, which use light emitting diodes for all light functions and has a very thin scratch on the front left door
And
then the engineer started crying…
Inspector: Lets search for the car.

29/12/2015

An Engineer was not getting a job even after two years after his pass-out so he decided to opened a clinic & wrote outside the clinic:
"Any treatment in Rs.300/- & if we cant treat, we will pay you back Rs.1000/-."
A CLEVER Doctor thought he will make the engineer fool and comes to do fraud & thinking to get Rs.1000. He says to the Engineer: "I cant feel any taste on my tongue."
Engineer asks the Nurse to put few drops of medicine from box no 22.
After that the MAN shouts: "What d _____ ...its URINE!!
The doctor says congratulations your sense of taste is back now.
The CLEVER Doctor was angry as he lost Rs.300.
After 2 weeks the same doctor comes back again & this time he thinks to get back his previous 300 too.
CLEVER Doctor : I've lost my memory.
Engineer: Nurse! pls put some drops of medicine from Box no 22 on his tongue.
C. DOCTOR : Wait Engineer but that medicine is for sense of taste.
Engineer: Congratulations your memory is back.
Moral: Don't try to be over-smart with Engineers..
Exactly..!
😊😊

20/07/2015

Rehne ki yahan sabki aukat nahi hoti
bina beer aur daaru ke yahan raat nahi hoti
ye engineering college hai mere dost yahan
bina maa bahan ke bat nahi hoti😁😁😁😁😁

19/07/2015

ENGINEER'S:
We build the world (Civil)
We create the magic world (CS,IT)
We connect the world (EC)
We are the powers (EE)
We move the world (Mechanical)
Proud 2 be an ENGNR

16/07/2015

Once Rajnikant appeared in
exam
of Engineering
Guess what happened? .
Ghanta ,He Failed Too.. .
Beta ye ENGINEERING hai...
Rajni ho ya Ghajni...
Yaha Sabki hai BAJNI ..................MsF............

15/07/2015

14/07/2015

Top two Engineering Rumours:
a) ‘Did you hear the results are being put up today at 5:30pm’
b) ‘Did you hear the exams are postponed by two weeks..........
!!!!!!!!!!!J

13/07/2015

Single is temporary... Relationship is temporary.... Exams are permanent !!
- engineering student....

13/07/2015

WiFi

13/07/2015

18 Funny Facts About Engineers: [A MUST READ]
1. For engineers every course apart from engineering is easy.
2. An engineer has the power of getting up at 9.25 am and reaching the class at 9.30 am.
3. T-shirt and jeans are engineer's national dress and Maggi is the national food.
4. A normal person will fix the broken things but an engineer will first break a thing and then he would fix it.
5. An engineer can build a car, spaceship and they even can make time machine. However, he just can't build a relationship with a girl.
6. An engineer doesn't care for the rise in price of petrol or gold but he gets mad when cigarette costs Rs.5.50 instead of 5.20.
7. An engineer loves to solve a problem. If there is no problem, then he will create one and would start solving it.
8. An engineer can derive any relation just give them the final expression.
9. Are you made of copper(CU) and tellurium(TE), because you're CUTE. This is how engineers flirt.
10. An Engineer's worst nightmare is teacher taking the class but not taking the attendance.
11. An engineer can finish his syllabus in one night.
12. An Engineer knows nothing, but only an Engineer knows this.
13. An Engineer will never sleep in night and will never wake up in morning.
14. An Engineer is the most innocent person in front of his parents.
15. Never argue with an engineer because arguing with Engineers is like killing the mosquito on your cheek, you might or might not kill it, but you will end up slapping yourself.
16. The most common dialogue on the opening day of an engineering college is, "Bhai, iss saal bhi koi khaas ladkiya nahi hain!"
17. No one can speak better English than an engineer who is having a bottle of beer in his hand.
18. There is always a hidden folder in engineer's laptop.
[SHARE this if you're proud of being an ENGINEER]
JKM