23/05/2026
❄️ OUR BUSINESS IS NOW TARGETING: NET ZERO PROFITS ♻️
After 14 years as a proud family-run business specialising in aircon cleaning, installations, and recycling old wheelie bins into fence posts and other recycled plastic products… we are excited to announce our newest business partner:
👉 ELBO 👈
A man so uniquely qualified at destroying businesses, we simply had to bring him onboard.
Nicknamed “Elbo” because he spends most of his time elbow deep in policy failures while telling hardworking Aussies they’ve never had it so good.
Under Elbo’s financial leadership, we are proud to announce our business is now officially targeting:
🌱 NET ZERO PROFITS 🌱
That’s right — every aircon install and recycled fence post we sell now helps redistribute our earnings directly into:
• $100 billion “renewable” projects that still need diesel generators
• paying interest on a trillion-dollar debt
• government ads telling you to take shorter showers
• replacing perfectly good wheelie bins with “more sustainable” wheelie bins
As part of our commitment to CLIMATE CHANGE, Elbo has also promised to reduce electricity usage across the business.
So from now on:
❄️ Air conditioners will no longer cool in summer
🔥 Heating will no longer heat in winter
💡 Workshop lights will operate every second Tuesday
🔋 Power tools can only be charged when the wind is blowing
And because recycling apparently fixes everything, all new fence posts will now be made from recycled tax invoices and unpaid power bills.
Unfortunately rising energy costs also mean:
• the office kettle is now considered a luxury appliance
• staff are only allowed 3 minutes of aircon per day
• customers wanting “cold air” will need to apply for a government rebate first
We truly believe Elbo’s experience running the country directly into a brick wall makes him the perfect man to steer our small family business toward total financial collapse.
So come support local business while we can still afford to turn the phones on.
We look forward to seeing all of you at Centrelink very soon.
