28/07/2026
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Economic confidence has returned to Hobart this week following the confirmed sighting of a construction crane, the first to be observed in the city’s skyline in what experts describe as “quite a fu***ng while.”
The rare specimen was spotted towering above the CBD on Friday afternoon, prompting spontaneous celebrations among economists, developers and Liberal politicians.
“We are so fu***ng back!” screamed Eric Abetz from the Treasury rooftop while pointing excitedly towards the horizon.
For decades, cranes have been regarded as a key indicator of economic activity, with Hobart once boasting enough of them to make locals complain about blocked views and constant jackhammering.
In recent years, however, the skyline has become so crane-free that younger Hobartians had begun assuming they were a migratory species.
“It’s magnificent,” whispered one local through binoculars.
“I haven’t seen one in the wild since before COVID.”
The sighting has fuelled hopes that Tasmania’s economy may once again be approaching the dizzying heights of “building something.”
Business leaders remain optimistic the lone crane may soon be joined by others, provided interest rates fall, investors regain confidence, the planning system approves something before the heat death of the universe, and nobody objects on Facebook.
At publication time, the crane is gone. The boom is over. The recession is back. As you were.
