14/08/2017
Ours was an arranged marriage. When a distant relative called our home with the proposal, my mother said yes the minute she heard he was in the armed forces. I was nervous, hesitant. I wanted to build a career of my own. I decided I would tell him straight away. To my surprise, he said I should do whatever I wanted to. We got engaged in April and two months later, we were married.
Post our marriage, he was posted to field area Poonch district,Jammu. His letters spoke of the weather and his next scheduled visit. When I was pregnant, we discussed names for the baby and he was confident he wanted our child to join the army in some role or the other. Our daughter was born on the morning of June 28th 2006 and by that afternoon, he was by my side. We named her Deeya in a simple ceremony.
A year later, we celebrated her first birthday with great aplomb and festivity. I wanted him to quit the army after fifteen years of service but he was unwilling. That is when I decided I would join him on his next posting. I never got a chance to tell him that though. I also wanted to learn cooking and like the soldier wives, send snacks with his soldier friends but I never got a chance to do it.
On July 13th 2007 he left for Delhi on his way to Jammu. I heard from him till he reached Jammu but after that, nothing. I thought he got busy with work. On July 20th, he called and said he had fractured his leg and was being shifted to Command Hospital, Udhampur. I didn’t doubt him once. My brother had a suspicion though, and said he had seen the news about militants shooting at the border. I tried to reach him again but could not contact him. On July 22nd, there was a telegram to his Coorg address that he had been shot and was severely injured. That is when the truth came out. “He was travelling in the military vehicle and militants suddenly opened fire.” I called the hospital immediately and after an excruciating fifteen minute wait, was told that the line could not be connected.
On July 24th, we got a call asking me to come to Jammu immediately. I left for Bengaluru but somewhere near Mysore, got news that he had attained martyrdom. He was one of three people who got martyred during the attack. His body came to us on July 26th. After a month, I got a box with my letters, his shoes and uniform.
After his death, everyone thought I would remarry and leave my young daughter, a child my husband had only seen thrice. I was hurt by their insensitive attitudes and broken at my loss. But this too passed. I decided I would stand on my own feet again. On August 26th 2007, I wrote and cleared my MBA entrance exam. Our daughter wants to become a doctor and fulfil his wish, though she is unsure of the army and still avoids talking about him.
We were married for two years and were together for six months. He was my best friend, my soulmate, my husband. My daughter doesn’t need to look far for a role model. Sometimes you might spend a life time with a person but still be strangers, sometimes a couple of moments might last an eternity.
I was 21 when I married Naik Thimmaiah. At 22, I became a mother. At 23, my husband was martyred. Today, my husband is no longer here but I feel his presence throughout.
Asha and Deeya Thimmaiah
PC: Prem Jayanth
