Chrysalis Life Centre

07/04/2019

Mother and Daughters Summits 2019

12/08/2017

22/10/2016

26/05/2016

POP

LOVING THE SINNER....

If the person in the wrong is sentenced to be flogged, the judge must command him to lie down and be beaten in his presence with the number of lashes appropriate to the crime. But never give more than forty lashes; more than forty lashes would publicly humiliate your neighbour.
Deut.25:2-3 (NLT).
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Thank God that parents are now more considerate in handling issues pertaining to their children's behaviour.

When I was growing up, it was not uncommon to see some parents apply stiff penalties to their children's misdeeds. Publicly shaming an offender was a usual sight then.

Children were brought to school assemblies to be flogged in the presence of their peers for offences commited at home.
Habitual bed-wetters were made to walk the streets carrying their stinky bedclothes as other children chanted derogatory songs behind them.
A child accused of 'stealing' meat from his mother's pot would be made to walk around the neighbourhood carrying the pot on his head and his peers chanting "ojú olè ré, olè!!!", behind him and some adults smacking, slapping and raining abuses on him as he went.
What about parents who would cut incisions on their child's body, rub raw pepper on the incisions and still flog the suffering child with a horsewhip? This punishment was applied for various misdemeanor from stealing to lying or even rudeness.
This was Lagos in the seventies and eighties.

This method of jungle justice served as a deterrent to those of us observing its application. The scary thought of being put through such an ordeal was enough to keep us on the straight and narrow path. But I don't think it had any effect on the offenders, as the same set of children were repeatedly paraded for the same offences.
The public shaming only earned them negative labels which some of them carried through life.

The latter part of today's text reveals the heart of God as to the purpose of punishments.

The essence of punishment is to attach a negative stimuli to an undesirable action so that when the perpetrator of that action is tempted again, the memory of the negative stimuli would serve as a restraint.
From God's perspective, punishment must be aimed at reintegrating to offender back into his community.

It shouldn't ever be about damaging the person's self-esteem or putting the person in a position of ridicule amongst his peers.
God cares for us even when we err. He cares so much that He doesn't want our emotions bruised by the consequences of our sins.

Can we extend the same grace towards our children when they fail to rise up to our expected behavioural standards?

ACTION POINTS
# Were you or anyone you know ever a victim of a humiliating punishment? How did you feel while enduring the punishment? How well did the punishment serve to correct your behaviour thereafter?

PLEASE SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS HERE.

SHALOM
'WUNMI ADETIPE.

25/05/2016

POP

POWER BROKERS.

1Corinthians 2:5
..so that your faith might not rest on human wisdom, but on God's power.

We want the same thing.

And that is, that our children should have power.

We want children who are leaders of thought amongst their peers, children who take the first positions in their academic pursuits, children who are not easily cowered by circumstances but who dictate the course of events, children who take on leadership positions as class captains, prefects, student governors etc.

We want our children to be recognized as the real power brokers of their time.

There is really nothing wrong with that parental ambition.

As children of the most high, we understand that our father is the Almighty God and His desire for us is that we operate in power just as He does - ACTS 1:8.

Seeking power for its own sake, is however, dangerous.

That is why we should teach our children to align their purposes and intentions with the will of God.

They should be made to understand that power must never be used to exert selfish authority upon others but that it is God's desire that we use the power that we are given to SERVE others - Matthew 20:25-26.

When God gives us power, we must develop humility so that we don't get intoxicated by the power and end up offending God. When we walk in humility, we are submissive to the leadership of God.

Our power must be contained in the will of God, just as the power of a bullet is contained in its shell-casing, without the the casing, the bullet has little power or effectiveness.

ACTION POINTS.

# What leadership ambitions does your child have? Discuss that ambition and how it'll be used to serve others.

SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS DEVOTIONAL HERE PLEASE.

Shalom.

'Wunmi Adetipe.

24/05/2016

POP

THAT ARK YOU ARE BUILDING.

Heb.11:7

By faith Noah, when warned about things not yet seen, in holy fear built an ark to save his family.
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We are all familiar with the story of Noah. He built an ark as a refuge from impending rain at a time when rain had never fallen and no one knew what it was like to have water pour out of the sky.
The herculean task of building a 450 foot boat over more than a century, must have been made worse by having to stop intermittently to deal with the people who probably felt that he had lost his mind!!!

Even though the ark was huge in size, Noah's singular objective for building it was to save his family. He knew he was wasn't building it for anyone else so he didn't need their approval in constructing it.

Noah had received a brief from God and he followed it to the letter.

The question before us today is, what Godly visions do we have for our children?

How are we building their lives - in line with the status quo or according to the pattern God has given us?

Choosing to follow God's pattern of parenting may often set us against the crowd but Godly parenting decisions is like an ark which will save our children when the storms of life begin to rage.

Sometimes, as partners with God in building the destinies of our children, we feel divinely inspired to take decisions that are not common e.g. to homeschool a child, to take a child off a drug inspite of doctors prescription, to move a child to a higher class etc. These decisions are bound to elicit a lot of questions and reactions from people who care too much about us and our children that they don't want us to make a mistake.
But as long as we are certain that God's wisdom is behind that decision, we can go ahead with it, trusting Him for the outcome.

Parenting is not a popularity contest. The destinies of our children are at stake. One size does not always fit all. Let us build the ark of Godly decisions that will save our children in times of adversity.

ACTION POINTS.

# What are some of the 'uncommon' parenting decisions you've made?

# How did you handle objections or criticisms from other people?

LETS HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS.
Shalom.

'Wunmi Adetipe.

23/05/2016

May 23, 2016

The Motherhood Press
BROOKE MCGLOTHLIN

“I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.” Psalm 119:11 (ESV)

I sat in the late evening sun on the front porch of our home, head in hands, tears streaming down my face, rendered speechless by the realization that I didn’t have what it took to be the kind of mom I wanted to be.

Before having kids, I’d never really failed at anything. Oh sure, I had been through failed relationships. I’d come close to failing a test here and there. I even failed to live up to my own expectations from time to time, but never the big things. Every goal I set for myself I achieved. But as a mom — the one thing I really wanted to get right in life — I was failing.

I wanted everyone to believe I was capable of handling the two beautiful boys God gave me, but I wasn’t.

I wanted everyone to believe I could juggle work, kids, husband, home and church with ease, but I couldn’t.

I wanted everyone to believe crying babies, nursing problems, shift work and the Terrible Twos weren’t too much for me all at once, but they were.

And what I really wanted everyone to believe — that I was a confident, capable, smart, fully independent woman — was keeping me from admitting the truth. I didn’t have what it took.

Motherhood showed me just how much I needed Jesus.

It scraped me, rubbed me raw and pressed ugly emotions and words out of my heart I didn’t even know were there.

If you asked people I grew up with to describe my personality, I’m happy to report words like “angry, insensitive, overbearing, short-tempered and unkind” would not have topped the list. But there, sitting on my front porch in front of all my neighbors, not really caring who saw, I realized the woman I so proudly presented to others wasn’t the real me.

The truth taunted me and beat me down. The person I thought I was didn’t exist, and for the first time, I couldn’t fix my situation by working a little bit harder. My need was greater than my ability. I simply couldn’t do it by myself.

Why does it take motherhood to bring out the worst in us? Maybe it’s because most of us have never really been pressed so hard, pushed so hard or loved so hard. We’re like children eating a jelly-filled donut. When little hands squeeze, the jelly hiding inside dumps into their lap … and when life presses a mama too hard, sin lurking in her heart comes out and dumps on the people she loves most.

I love today’s key verse, Psalm 119:11. I learned it as a child, and its simplicity is the perfect antidote to my challenging, chaotic mothering days: “I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.”

I learned a life lesson that day I hope will stick with me forever. What’s in our hearts will come out, good or bad. In order to be the kind of godly women we want to be, we have to store God's Word in our hearts, letting it change who we are in our most-hidden places, so when we’re pressed, His love pours out.

Father, give me a never-ending desire to spend my moments storing up the treasures in Your Word, so that when I’m pressed by life’s challenges I might not sin against You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

TRUTH FOR TODAY:
Matthew 12:34b, “For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” (ESV)

Proverbs 4:23, “Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.” (ESV)

20/05/2016

POP

WHERE CHARITY BEGINS.

Luke 6:35.
..do good and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be the sons of the Most High, for He is kind.... - ESV.
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The instinct for survival has been described as the strongest instinct in man.

It is from this instinct that selfishness and greed emanates.

People who are selfish are naturally predisposed to thinking of their own interests first in any situation. They operate from a scarcity consciousness that makes them always instinctively want to preserve their own interests at the expense of others.

Careful observation of young children shows a natural tendency towards self-centeredness.
Two children at play will fight for the same toys when there are others to play with.
The toddlers in homes claim right of ownership of the TV, the furniture and even the parents!!!

Who hasn't heard their children squabbling over" she is my mummy" or "don't sit next to my daddy" ?

The renowned psychologist, Sigmund Freud, identified the three psyche of human personality. He described them as the ID, EGO, and SUPEREGO.

The ID is a pure pleasure seeking personality predominant in babies. The EGO develops as the child matures, helping him balance the unrealistic expectations of the ID with the reality of his environment. The SUPEREGO develops as the child learns to negotiate through the systems of norms and values prevalent in the society.

We help our children develop matured personalities when we put in structures in their environment that help them be more considerate of the needs of others.

Simple rules like:

"before fetching water for yourself from the water dispenser, ask if anybody wants some water first and serve them first".

You may also ask each child to state one act of kindness they are going to perform for their siblings or any other person each day. When they have performed that act of kindness, discuss with them how they felt and how the other person felt.

Let us make the world a better place by raising kind children.

ACTION POINTS.

# Think of more ways to establish kindness in your home.

# What act of kindness can you go out of your way to perform for each child today? (Asides from all the things you normally do for them).

PLEASE SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS.

Shalom.

'Wunmi Adetipe.

17/05/2016

POP

STORY, STORY.

Matthew 13:34

Jesus always used stories and illustrations like these when speaking to the crowds. Infact, He never spoke to them without using such parables. - NLT.

Fables, myths, legends, tales, parables, children love to be told stories.

In times past we listened to 'tales by moonlight ' or candlelight. Our grandparents seemed to come from an era when animals could talk and relate with humans with minimal distinction. Mr Tortoise or 'Ijapa', was a much loved trickster, from whose punishments we learnt moral codes.

Every culture has its folktales with satirical characters.
Just as we have our own Mr Tortoise, the Ghanaians have Anansi, the Spider, for the Turks, it is Nasreddin Hodja, while The Big Bad Wolf, is a villainous character in many European folktales.

Story telling is an important vehicle for the transportation of societal values and norms from one generation to another.

Stories carry messages which cannot be easily forgotten because they appeal to the self identity of the listener. Children can relate with the antics of Mr Tortoise not just because they are equally mischievous, but because of the human characteristics displayed by that creature.
When audiences are able to connect with the character in a story, then, the message of the story is easily delivered.

Stories are crucial elements for behaviour modification.

Jesus told many stories to His followers. These stories conveyed messages through which He initiated a new social order.

By telling stories to our children, we not only entertain them but we can also teach them values or correct some of the negative behaviour we observe in them.
Many great stories are made up by parents. These made up tales, come directly from the heart of a parent and their impact is far greater than stories read from any story book.

Another important bonus of story telling is that it helps children develop creativity which later translates into academic success.

The stories you tell your children help in fostering bonds between you and your children.

If you don't tell stories to your children, the world is waiting to tell it to them. Wouldn't you like to be in control of the messages that are imprinted on their tender hearts.

ACTION POINTS.

# Try and recall memories of story telling sessions when you were young. Who told you stories, what was the atmosphere like, how did you feel then, what were your favourite tales, what lessons did you learn?

# Pick a story from your past and find time today to share it with your children.

Shalom.

'Wunmi Adetipe.

16/05/2016

POP

RESPONSE-ABILITY

John 10:13

"The hireling flees because he is a hireling and does not care about the sheep".
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Do you remember MR NIGER or MR NIGER D?

I was reminded of 'MR NIGER' whilst helping my son revise for his school tests recently.
The 'I' in 'NIGER' stands for Irritability', which according to my child, is 'the ability of living things to respond to changes in their environment '.
It is very important for living things to make accurate and timely response to environmental changes or else they would die.

Response-ability is the ability to effect accurate and timely changes as per any given situation.
Response-ability emanates from the view of oneself as a principal factor in a given situation.

A plant in need of water undertakes the responsibility of shooting its roots downwards and deeper into the soil in search of water. If it is to survive, it must not abdicate that crucial responsibility of effecting the change it needs.

Response-ability is dependent upon a sense of ownership.
A person who has taken ownership of a property sees himself as being responsible for the upkeep of the property. When citizens take ownership of social structures, they act in ways that preserve the integrity of those structures.

Lack of response-ability or irresponsibility leads to wastage or any other act that is inimical to preservation.

In 2Samuel 4:4, we read the biblical account of how Mephibosheth, Jonathan's son became lame as a result of a fall had suffered while the hireling charged with responsibility for his safety tried to ensure his protection. The action of the nurse clearly can't be faulted as accidents do happen but I question whether that accident would have occurred had the young prince been in custody of his biological parents.
The truth is, no matter how much a hired help loves a child, because their sense of ownership is not 100% there is every possibility that they would drop the child.

While the challenges of urban living necessitates the need for help in the ex*****on of some of our duties, it is pertinent that we understand how much of our responsibilities can be delegated to helpers.
Matters critical to the lives and destinies of our children are certainly not delegateable.
Where we cede control of our children to others, it must be with clear understanding to all those involved - including the children, that the situation is temporary and must never be without some measure of control by the parents.

In this age when mothers scout for househelps from doubtful agents, let us remember to take the utmost care in deciding who we entrust the care of our children to.

Our children are our primary responsibilities.

ACTION POINTS .
of instances where househelps have hurt a child whether deliberately or accidentally. Consider that situation in light of today's text.
measures can parents put in place to check hired helps who are given temporary custody of their children?

Please share your thoughts .

"Wunmi Adetipe.