09/05/2026
**IN LOVING MEMORY OF THE MULLET**
*2025 – 2026*
After years of faithful service, the legendary mullet has officially left the building.
Marketing made several respectful attempts to obtain photographic evidence so we could properly memorialize this important chapter in company history. Its former owner declined to cooperate.
With no verified photo available, Marketing was forced to reconstruct the mullet based on eyewitness testimony, historical accounts, and the hairstyle’s alleged commitment to business in the front and absolute mayhem in the back.
The mullet is survived by its former owner, several coworkers who remember it vividly, and a Marketing department unwilling to let company history disappear simply because someone refuses to send a picture.
In lieu of flowers, please submit any authentic mullet photos in the comments below.
This memorial could have been accurate. He made his choice.
May the mullet rest in peace, and may its former owner learn that Marketing always finds a way.
Please be on the lookout for the memorial video in September's issue of the Pink Van Press!