02/12/2026
MEET THE TEAM PT. 2: HR
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If you’ve been by the shop, you’ve probably met our Head of HR, Alfie 🐾
Alfie’s responsibilities include (but are not limited to):
• Security: Elite alarm system. Especially effective when the door opens during nap time.
• Workplace morale: Great at leading by example. Can typically be found lying horizontal on the floor between the hours of 8:30AM-12:00PM
• Poison control: Inspects all snacks. Sometimes twice. (Even from the trash.) Zero qualifications. Maximum confidence.
• Comfort care: Unsolicited hugs. Surprisingly affective.
• Hazard control: Alerts staff by dramatically running away from loud or suspicious objects.