04/09/2020
Quarantine Life update! Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem. * I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe. * I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator. * Still haven't decided where to go for Easter ----- The Living Room or The Bedroom * PSA: every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom. * Homeschooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job. * I don't think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we'd go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone * This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog..... we laughed a lot. * So, after this quarantine.....will the producers of My 600 Pound Life just find me or do I find them? * Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business. * My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I p*e it cleans the toilet. * Day 15 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat. * I'm so excited --- it's time to take out the garbage. What should I wear? * I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyarda. I'm getting tired of Los Livingroom. * Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun. * Day 16 of Homeschooling: My child just said "I hope I don't have the same teacher next year".... I'm offended. * Better 6 feet apart than 6 feet under
