10/24/2026
🚨 BREAKING: ROYAL OAK FAMILY'S 12-FOOT SKELETON REFUSES TO DO HALLOWEEN, SAYS IT'S "STILL PATIO SEASON"
ROYAL OAK — Neighbors a couple blocks off Woodward were stunned Thursday after a 12-foot Home Depot skeleton was found reclined in a zero gravity lawn chair wearing aviators and holding what witnesses describe as "a ginger ale he did not pay for."
The family says they set him up Oct 1 standing tall and menacing. Then the forecast showed sunny 60s through the weekend and near 70 on Sunday, and he "just kinda gave up on being scary."
"I came out to grab the mail and he asked me to move the chair so he's out of the shade," said one neighbor. "He doesn't even have skin. What is he tanning lmao"
A local dad confirmed the skeleton has also started saying "it's a dry heat" to people walking their dogs.
Kids trick or treating next week are reportedly concerned. "He's supposed to say boo," said one 8 year old. "Yesterday he told me the Lions are going 14-3 and asked if I knew anybody with a pontoon."
Officials urge residents to enjoy the warmth while it lasts. Mornings in the 40s, afternoons in the 60s, and this man's sunscreen budget is now higher than his electric bill.
The family tried calling him back to his post. He responded by asking if Meijer still sells pool noodles this time of year.
This is a developing story.
Is your Halloween decor working or on vacation? 👇
Satire 😂
